The Vetting Process.

In his quest for the perfect running mate, John McCain faced more difficulties than he expected. In the back of his mind, he knew he wanted to create a buzz similar to his opponent candidate for the presidency of the United States of America.

His first vision was a magical negro. One who could assist him achieving his goal of adding another house to his incalculable collection, the White one with the oval office.

Here is John's top 5 magical negroes.

Noah Cullen in Defiant Ones.



Morgan Freeman in 90% of his roles.



Lamont in American History X.



Morpheus.



And last but not least: any appearing in all Stephen King's Novels. For the purpose of this web log, I will stick to a photograph of my favorite of them all.


McCain needed his vice president black, to tell America that he is not a racist. He also needed somebody magical to help him in his role. However, a magical negro, like in the movies they star in, only help the white protagonist, the hero, to save the world, escape from prison, destroy the Matrix or whatever else they got to do. This sounded perfect to good old John.

Unfortunately, the Republican establishment wouldn't let him have it his way. With the evangelists on one side, W, Rove and Cheney on the other, everybody knew that plan wasn't acceptable and decent for them. Then began the ultimate search for a republican that would survive the vetting process.

The goal is to come clean, that is after having a team of private investigators run a thorough search in every aspect of your life and past life. As expected, nobody came out of the process as a potential Vice President in line with the party's values. You see, their moral highground is really, really high. Enough so that faking or paying your way through this order can secure your position as a steady politician for the party.

The search went on and it got down to a few juniors of the party who were in not long enough to get their paws dirty yet. And lord, one of them was a woman.