Could it be possible? Two years into being practically completely apart from the Hardcore realm, I feel I can say I can deal with the lack of unity, cope without the brotherhood, and I manage to keep it real, but this time thriving on a different level of Dancefloor Justice.
The first time I felt confronted to how apart I was from society back in the days, is when a girlfriend from a year or so back asked me about a rugged X Swatch laying on my desk.
- What's that? I never seen you wear it.
- It's been broken for a long time.
- Why do you keep it? It's destroyed, you have better watches to wear.
- This piece of junk has sentimental value, I guess.
- Why?
- It was some sort of symbol for me and some friends.
- What kind of symbol?
You see where this is going. At this point it is a valid point I should have kept her nagging curiosity in check. But I felt it was honest interest in my past that kept her going and got her to ask me about the rite of passages I went through, most being somehow related to Punk, Hardcore and the Straight Edge. While it may seem contrived of me to bask in this nostalgia as I type this listening to the Pet Shop Boy's Introspective LP, I came to realize the impact this crucial lifestyle had on my life.
At first look, I was living happily ever after the Core. Many former coremen developed subversive opinions about the culture they once embraced, and act as opposite as possible to anything that may be Hardcore... "The Harder They Fall", we would say. They usually turn out really douchebaggish and in overall denial. I also know a guy who switched lifestyles but is in no denial. It's this chameleon boy who started as pos kid, got into Madball and Hatebreed, then went full on wigger, even wearing ECKO gear. He then went skinhead, bordering on the dark side and "ironically" listening to Screwdriver or Blue Eyed Devils. Then got into metrosexuality, dance music and all that stuff, and now he's into obscure new wave shit I wish he'd get me into.
The way I felt is that Hardcore just naturally stepped out of me. Not the scene sucked, because new kids keep coming and the new bands keep rolling by the town. Thing is, I was just not getting into the new stuff, and I had less and less time to go out and dig those excellent new bands coming up. I was always down for a road trip to see exciting reunions like for Bold or Youth Of Today, or see a Ignite show in town or in Ottawa, but the new breed of Wiggercore and the friends slowly disappearing from shows kind of made me not miss it that much. Even though we started EPIDEMIC in 2006, it wasn't specifically about Hardcore but just letting loose musically the best way we could. Of course, spending our formative years listening to Hardcore made us Hardcore, or more so Post Hardcore.
The same summer Epidemic formed, I also broke Edge. I like to think I made this choice by respect to the Straight Edge, as I was keeping my drug free, booze free and smoke free lifestyle by habit more than conviction. Since you can't ask a teenager to live by the principles he set for himself for his whole entire life, I felt I was now ready to partake in full-on Ovechkin style partying.
Turns out I'm glad I got into the social drinking and drugs game at age 26 instead of 19. College parties suck so bad, the kids have no idea where to draw any lines and when it is appropriate to cross them. Instead I had the chance to learn with adults with experience and was introduced (and could afford) the best beers, wines and spirits. I can now move straight to go, get my two hundred bucks and enjoy quality scotches.
But why is it that in my haziest moments, a Minor Threat song will come up and and will lose my shit and mosh the living room - as a guest - up ? Why do I find my X varsity jacket to be one of the most beautiful items of my wardrobe? Why do I sample Straight Edge Hardcore in the computer tunes I craft when I'm high? Why do I look up the show listings in the hope a band I love decided to reform and play Montreal? Is there really a life outside hardcore?
Maybe not so much. There will always be a few stories to tell to the people that want to know me, about the things Hardcore has put me through, whether we're talking about scars, tattoos, the records in my bin, the weird pictures of people piling up on me thrown around in online social networks... And I have to take the time to tell them, otherwise they'll go home thinking I was in a cult.
Even though I can sometimes be found laying down some justice on a dancefloor with a broad that does not have straight bangs and a sacred heart inked on her chest under an arm and a fine drink in the other hand, I will always go out of this lucky predicament to meet and hug a former fellow edgeman. I will always remember that what brought me to this gratifying stage of my life are the seminal years that taught me about integrity, brotherhood, equality, unity, holding strong and keeping it real. I used to be part of Hardcore, now it's just a part of me.
The first time I felt confronted to how apart I was from society back in the days, is when a girlfriend from a year or so back asked me about a rugged X Swatch laying on my desk.
- What's that? I never seen you wear it.
- It's been broken for a long time.
- Why do you keep it? It's destroyed, you have better watches to wear.
- This piece of junk has sentimental value, I guess.
- Why?
- It was some sort of symbol for me and some friends.
- What kind of symbol?
You see where this is going. At this point it is a valid point I should have kept her nagging curiosity in check. But I felt it was honest interest in my past that kept her going and got her to ask me about the rite of passages I went through, most being somehow related to Punk, Hardcore and the Straight Edge. While it may seem contrived of me to bask in this nostalgia as I type this listening to the Pet Shop Boy's Introspective LP, I came to realize the impact this crucial lifestyle had on my life.
At first look, I was living happily ever after the Core. Many former coremen developed subversive opinions about the culture they once embraced, and act as opposite as possible to anything that may be Hardcore... "The Harder They Fall", we would say. They usually turn out really douchebaggish and in overall denial. I also know a guy who switched lifestyles but is in no denial. It's this chameleon boy who started as pos kid, got into Madball and Hatebreed, then went full on wigger, even wearing ECKO gear. He then went skinhead, bordering on the dark side and "ironically" listening to Screwdriver or Blue Eyed Devils. Then got into metrosexuality, dance music and all that stuff, and now he's into obscure new wave shit I wish he'd get me into.
The way I felt is that Hardcore just naturally stepped out of me. Not the scene sucked, because new kids keep coming and the new bands keep rolling by the town. Thing is, I was just not getting into the new stuff, and I had less and less time to go out and dig those excellent new bands coming up. I was always down for a road trip to see exciting reunions like for Bold or Youth Of Today, or see a Ignite show in town or in Ottawa, but the new breed of Wiggercore and the friends slowly disappearing from shows kind of made me not miss it that much. Even though we started EPIDEMIC in 2006, it wasn't specifically about Hardcore but just letting loose musically the best way we could. Of course, spending our formative years listening to Hardcore made us Hardcore, or more so Post Hardcore.
The same summer Epidemic formed, I also broke Edge. I like to think I made this choice by respect to the Straight Edge, as I was keeping my drug free, booze free and smoke free lifestyle by habit more than conviction. Since you can't ask a teenager to live by the principles he set for himself for his whole entire life, I felt I was now ready to partake in full-on Ovechkin style partying.
Turns out I'm glad I got into the social drinking and drugs game at age 26 instead of 19. College parties suck so bad, the kids have no idea where to draw any lines and when it is appropriate to cross them. Instead I had the chance to learn with adults with experience and was introduced (and could afford) the best beers, wines and spirits. I can now move straight to go, get my two hundred bucks and enjoy quality scotches.
But why is it that in my haziest moments, a Minor Threat song will come up and and will lose my shit and mosh the living room - as a guest - up ? Why do I find my X varsity jacket to be one of the most beautiful items of my wardrobe? Why do I sample Straight Edge Hardcore in the computer tunes I craft when I'm high? Why do I look up the show listings in the hope a band I love decided to reform and play Montreal? Is there really a life outside hardcore?
Maybe not so much. There will always be a few stories to tell to the people that want to know me, about the things Hardcore has put me through, whether we're talking about scars, tattoos, the records in my bin, the weird pictures of people piling up on me thrown around in online social networks... And I have to take the time to tell them, otherwise they'll go home thinking I was in a cult.
Even though I can sometimes be found laying down some justice on a dancefloor with a broad that does not have straight bangs and a sacred heart inked on her chest under an arm and a fine drink in the other hand, I will always go out of this lucky predicament to meet and hug a former fellow edgeman. I will always remember that what brought me to this gratifying stage of my life are the seminal years that taught me about integrity, brotherhood, equality, unity, holding strong and keeping it real. I used to be part of Hardcore, now it's just a part of me.
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